I lie awake at night
Tangled between the sheets
With two mistresses
I did not agree to get in bed with.
Partners in crime.
A matching set.
Anxiety and insomnia
Fill the room with noise
Silence can barely compete
Anxiety places a blender behind my eyes
Insomnia presses “Chop” Every time they start to close
Anxiety pours the words
Within my skull
Demanding them to be written
While tying my hands behind my back
Insomnia is the drum
Beating to remind me
That while I may fill the glass
It will never be enough
Anxiety drives my car to work
With a gun to my head
After insomnia handcuffs
A piece of me to my bed
Always leaving a part of me
Not miles away from where I am
But just out of reach
I’m held hostage by this life
Pulled between the person I am
And the person I want to be
Anxiety is the mean girl in high school
But not the blatant bully
The one that disguises herself as my friend
Her eyes are sharp for imperfection
Every glance is a poignant blade
Against each pound I should have never gained
She smiles at my jokes and claims them as her own
Because her delivery is always spot on
She flirts with the boys I like
And winks in my direction
To let me know the world is hers for the taking
Her criticism is posed as constructive
But every poised point of her finger
Is a bulldozer to my self esteem
Insomnia is the cruel whisper behind my back
Reminding me that I didn’t have any self esteem to begin with
I graduated six years ago
But they’re the only friends that stick around
I can’t afford to let them go
I’m think they’ll be holding hands at my funeral
Toasting to the memory of me that they helped destroy
Anxiety and Insomnia
Partners in crime
A matching set
I can’t tell who’s the bigger bitch
thoughtvomit 